The rise of domestic violence against men
"Over the years, I dealt with a growing number of cases of domestic violence by women against men," says Adriana MeBarr, a relationship coach with local coaches soul and spirit (soulandmindcoaching @ gmail. Com). "I think women become more independent and less afraid, they begin to gain more power in their relationship and, unfortunately, see it as physical force."
According to the latest figures from the Dubai police, seven cases of husband beating was recorded in 2010 - against two in 2009. Violent marital conflict also increased, with 95 in 2010 compared to 68 in 2009. In Qatar, the figures are even more shocking to believe her husband to beat to account for most cases of domestic violence seconds, depending on family counseling center in Qatar.
But according to psychologist Dr. Raymond Hamden, Center Clinics in Dubai, the real figure could be much higher than many men are too afraid or ashamed to come forward and admit they are suffering - a problem reinforced by Hollywood movies. "It's rare for men to report incidents of physical violence, because it is considered very macho," says Dr Hamden. "However, we believe that there are many reported cases."
A global phenomenon
Surprising as it may seem, the rise of domestic violence in men is not only limited to the Middle East because, according to studies by the University of Pennsylvania, all males in the United States has a 28 percent chance of being struck by a woman at some point in their life (interestingly, the number of girls aged 10 to 17 persons arrested for aggravated assault in the United States has doubled in the last 20 years). This trend is also true for the UK, where the number of women convicted of perpetrating domestic violence has quadrupled in the last six years, from 806 in 2004-2005 to 3,494 in 2009-2010.
While these figures are surprising, which makes the statistics of the Middle East even more incredible is that, traditionally, is the man who is supposed to contain all the power in a relationship. However, this is not the case, according MeBarr. "Within the family home, is very matriarchal," he said. "The woman has the last word if you have a huge amount of control that makes it easy to manipulate man."
Dr. Hamden agrees, adding that there are many forms of domestic violence do not always end in violence, but can be as damaging to a relationship. "There are other types that are never reported. These include verbal, emotional, social and economic status, as women often have the reign on the finances of the house and see her husband in this way." He continues: "A Sometimes, the abuse will start with the retention of credit card, until he does what he asks. Other times, demand to know who is related and it will progress from there. "
So what makes women in the region have so aggressively? Dr. Hamden maintains that if it could be due to Western influences, not the whole answer. "Although you can not save to the figures suggested that more educated women in the region to be receiving the most daring and men become more vulnerable to it because I do not know how to react," said . "However, you can not blame the West as they influence each other over and over again and I saw this trend in all cultures," he added.
MeBarr agrees, saying: "I'm not sure if this is a change in men, or whether women are gaining a new place in the relationship, but there seems to be confusion about identity. They live in a Muslim society, but women are more aware of their rights than ever and are unwilling to back down. Unfortunately, independence came to the wrong address. "
Search Again
Despite this, it is easy to wonder why these men not to retaliate. They are stronger than most women and it is this reasoning fails to take seriously than ever. But as brands Brooks, president of the British organization Humanity (mankind.org.uk) said, to strike back is not always as easy as it sounds. "Domestic violence is control. Both authors, men and women want to control their partner, which means it is likely that your partner would have been verbally abused so their trust is broken, and felt vulnerable." Brooks added: "It is also interesting to note that, while serious physical violence does not always occur, the damage it has on the psyche of a man can be much worse, since he often preferred to suffer in silence rather than admit that the Abuse of family or friends, especially when the risk of ridicule rather than help. "
MeBarr also believes that domestic violence against men are worse in the Middle East, since it is difficult to finish a report here. "I call on all men who have trained individually by the one left beaten and they say they do not know," he said. "But I think it's the same for men and women and that this is because of fear. It is fear that keeps them in a bad relationship and let the fear of divorce is very humbling."
Finding a compromise
Although the numbers of men suffering from domestic violence is still not comparable to women, is increasing and if we refuse to acknowledge the serious problem as it is, men
will continue to suffer in silence. To highlight the level of underreporting, it is interesting that in the UK, double the male victims (41 percent) than women (19 percent) do not tell anyone about the violence they suffer. And while statistics are not available here in the UAE on this point, it is common knowledge that all the numbers are much higher than reported.
But even after a man or a woman comes forward and admits that physical violence is happening, once the RST Hand fi hit, a couple can not recover? "Although it depends on the level of violence, couples can move forward, but need a clear and direct communication," says MeBarr. "If one partner feels they are not getting everything you need in the relationship, your partner should contact the anger comes from frustration and that's when the trouble starts."
