Recognize the warning signs of domestic violence and abuse

Recognize the warning signs of domestic violence and abuse

It is impossible to know with certainty what goes on behind closed doors, but there are some signs and symptoms of emotional abuse and domestic violence. If you see warning signs of violence in a friend, relative or colleague, we take very seriously.

Warning signs of domestic violence generally
People who are abused may:

They seem to have fear or anxiety to please his partner.
Go with everything your partner says or does.
Check in often with your partner to tell where they are and what they do.
Frequently receives, telephone harassment of his partner.
Discuss the mood of your partner, jealousy or possessiveness.
Warning signs of physical abuse
People who are physically abused may:

Has frequent injuries, with the excuse of "accidents".
Frequently absent from work, school or social events, without any explanation.
Wear clothing designed to hide bruises or scars (eg, wear long sleeves in summer or inside the sunglasses).
Warning Signs Insulation
People who are isolated by her abuser may:

Be limited to seeing family and friends.
They rarely go out in public without her mate.
They have limited access to money, credit cards, or car.
Warning signs of psychological abuse
People who are abused may:

They have very low self-esteem, although they used to be trusted.
Show changes to severe personality (eg, an extrovert becomes withdrawn).
Being depressed, anxious or suicidal.

A story of patriarchy resolution translates into activism

A history of patriarchy resolution translates into activism   Mr. Mathias is a Nzume exceptional men in a place where patriarchy reigns: he is an advocate for gender equality and women's rights.
Mr. Nzume is a Cameroonian, married with five children, three girls and two boys. Driven by his personal experiences and agony, with his mother, Mr. Nzume knows first hand the human rights abuses taking place in Cameroon, and particularly to his people in Bakossi - an ethnic group in the South West of Cameroon.
"My life has been depressed to a certain place," said Mr. Nzume, a former high school teacher, now chief of the Department of Families of Women and Family (MINWEF) Regional Delegation of the South West - Buea, Cameroon.
"I grew up as an orphan, however, my parents were alive," said Nzume. As an orphan, he says - his biological father have never acknowledged as his son - he always referred to me as son of his deceased brother. A man who was not my biological father, "said
The situation of Mr. Nzume done to become a defender to make a difference - an environment that would end all injustice, especially against women, widows and orphans. A situation in which he says is not the victims, but make fate.
"It was a cruel and emotionally painful." Said.Struggles for identity led him to discover two foreign radio stations, the BBC and Voice of America - an opportunity for transformation remains to this day an interested listener. That said, were one of the reasons why he is a staunch defender of human rights of women.
"It became at times in the 80". Recalled. "I came through the radio stations:. BBC and Voice of America had this once, caught my eye Though I knew nothing of classical concepts gender, legal instruments., principles and practice - listening to the BBC / VOA has enlightened me so much so that when I graduated, I decided to study a large double major: StudiesLaw and Gender at the University of Buea "..
Her interest in gender studies would be a good perspective on women's issues, including traditional norms and the position of women in culture.And appearance of the law was to articulate gender issues from a legal point of view and also use this platform to intervene in the situation of women.
After his graduation is about mid-90s, returned to his regular classroom and in 2008 he was offered the position as head of the Department of Family Welfare as Head of Department, Ministry of Women empowerment of the regional delegation of the Southwest (MINWEF), a new department in MINWEF.As head (chief) of service for the welfare of the family MINWEF, your first responsibility is to resolve family conflicts, to improve the welfare of the family and provide assistance to volunteers interested in doing good be a family of social concern.
Mr. Ediage, a professional architect shares his personal encounters with Mr. Nzume: "For nearly five years after my father died I never said a word to my mother my mother and I were never on good terms never .. cross the road.My life has been traumatized. I was depressed. And now, thanks to one-on-one advice and Mr. Nzume dialogue sessions, my mother and I are able to exchange words. "
Melanie, a professional stylist also stated that "Mr. Nzume inspires me. He took his time looking at my problem. He did not hurry. At any time, anywhere, always ready to give advice and help bring peace between me and my parents. "
Please note that during 2008 - 2011 before the new recruit 25,000 young government, Mr. Nzume worker was the only male around the MINWEF-Buea and the first man to hold the position of department head protectionfamily.Since his arrival on this occasion, has won more than 600 cases of violence against women (rape ranges [civil], domestic violence, sexual abuse), the resolution of family conflicts.
And under his leadership, organizes an annual mass [group marriages] [taking place is held every May 15] in the center of the delegation to Buea.The wedding was held the first Mass in 2009 with 51 married couples and in 2010 was 49 years and 51 years.
Mr. Nzume believes change is happening and human rights of women gradually followed. However, he said - no need for more comprehensive laws to advance the entire state of women in Cameroon, especially in light of marriage, widowhood, and sexual and reproductive health.
Besides, he says - "men and women must become partners in the realization of human rights of women."
And finally, coming soon is the book of Mr. Nzume entitled Tears of the female, "where he shares his personal and professional experience, an insight on how society views women, the way forward for better society for all.

Domestic violence - Who are the victims?

Who are the victims?
Anyone can be a victim! Victims can be of any age, sex, race, culture, religion, education, employment or marital status. Although both men and women can be abused, most victims are women. Children in homes where there is domestic violence are more likely to be abused and / or abandoned. Most children in these homes know violence. Even if a child is not physically injured, may have emotional and behavioral problems.
Given that abuse can happen to anyone, people can have interests. All resources mentioned in this book to understand their concerns. They will listen and treat you with respect.

If you are a person of color ...
You may be afraid of prejudice. You may be afraid of being blamed for leaving their community for help.If you are a gay, lesbian or transsexual ...
You may be afraid of people know about their sexual orientation.If you are physically or mentally, or elderly ...
You can expect your attacker to take care of you. You can not have others to help.If you are a victim of abuse ...
You may feel embarrassed and afraid no one will believe you.If you are from another country ...
You may be afraid of being deported.If your religion is hard to get help ...
You may feel as if you were to stay and not break the family.If you are a teenager ...
You may be abused or at risk if you go to a person who:is very jealous and / or spiesnot allow you to break the linkpity that in some way, is violent, or brags about hurting othersyou down or you feel badrequires you to have sex or you're afraid to say no to sexdrug or alcohol abuse, and insists that you use drugs or alcoholhas a history of bad relationships and blames othersIt is difficult for adolescents to leave their abuser if they go to school even.You can not hide. Gay and lesbian teens are very isolated. They may fear they may have to disclose their sexual orientation.
If you think you are being abused, do not forget to ask for help. If your family or your friends warn you about the person you are dating, think about getting help. Talk to friends of family members, or someone you can trust.Call a resource listed in this book. This is a help to you. You do not have to suffer in silence.If you are a child in a violent home ...

Most children in these homes know violence. Parents may think that children do not experience violence, but above all they do. Children often know what happened. They may feel helpless, scared and upset. You may also feel that violence is their fault.
Domestic violence is dangerous for children. Children live in fear noises, yelling and hitting. They fear for their parents and themselves. Children feel bad, can not stop the violence. If they try to stop the fight, you may be injured. They can also be affected by things that are thrown or weapons are used. Children are harmed just by seeing and hearing the violence.
Children from violent homes can not get the care they need. A parent who is being abused may be too much pain to care for your child.
Children living in violent homes have many problems. They may have trouble sleeping. They may have difficulty in school and getting along with others. They often feel sad and scared all the time. They can grow up feeling bad about themselves. These problems do not disappear by themselves. They may be there, even when the child grows.
There is help for children in violent homes. Call a resource listed in this book to talk to someone. This can also help if you grew up in violent homes.If you are being harassed ...
Stalking is repeated harassment that makes you feel scared or upset. A stalker can be someone you know or a stranger. Often bother people by giving them the attention they do not want. This can be unwanted calls or gifts, or following people by going to where they live or work. It can also be a threat to you or your family.People may think that bullying is not dangerous, because no one was hurt physically. Stalking is serious. It is against the law. Often turns into physical violence.
There is help. Learn how to get a personal protection order (PPO). You can also tell the police. You can reach an agreement by following what the stalker does by:
tell the police every time the stalker to contact youholding a book with you at all times so you can write the stalkers contactsMessages for telephony savings stalkerSaving letters and gifts from the stalkerwrite information to the stalker, like how they look, the kind of car they drive and license plate number.

Domestic violence - Questions about quitting

Questions about quitting

Many victims of domestic violence, the following questions about quitting.

¿I can bring my children with me when I leave?

Yes, if you can do so safely, without any doubt take your children with you. Itmay be harder later.
Obtain legal custody of them in a few days. This is very important. Most groups listed in this book can help you find help.
If you do not have your children with you, it can be difficult when thetemporary custody of their children. The parent who has physical possession of the children may have an advantage getting temporary custody.
Your partner may try to remove, threaten or harm the children to return.
If you are in immediate danger and can not take your children, contact the police immediately to arrange temporary protective custody. (This doesnot mean you will lose custody. Permanent custody will be decided later by a judge.)
Where can I go?

Stay with a friend or relatives.
If you are a woman, not to stay with a man unless he is a parent. (Living with an unmarried man could hurt your chances of getting custody of theirchildren and spouse. It could also cause a conflict with your abuser.)
Go to a shelter for battered women and their children. The staff can help you get help as well as legal and financial advice and emotional support for you and your children.
Or call 911 because it is a good start.

Cycle of violence

Cycle of violence

incident

Any type of abuse occurs (physical / sexual / emotional)
Building tension

The abuser begins to get angry
Violence can begin
There is a breakdown in communication
Victim feels the need to remain calm aggressor
The tension becomes too
Victim feels like they are "walking on eggshells"
makeup

The abuser may apologize for abuse
The abuser may promise not happen again
The abuser may blame the victim for causing the abuse
The abuser may deny the abuse took place or was not as bad as the victim claims
calm


Abuser acts like the abuse never happened
Physical abuse can not be considered
The promises made in the "take" can be satisfied
The victim can expect that violence is no longer
The abuser may give gifts to victim
The cycle can happen hundreds of times in an abusive relationship. Each stage lasts a different amount of time in a relationship. The total cycle can last from hours to a year or more to complete.

It is important to remember that all domestic violence relationships fit thecycle. Often, over time, the stages of 'making up' and 'calm' away.